Expedition Goes Awry!

Authorities are investigating what went wrong on a routine trading expedition deep in the Minga Jungle. Only a handful of survivors emerged from the jungle near the Belgian Trading Post at Crocodile Gulch.

The Expedition was controversial from the start, leader Sir Henry Kipper is a noted explorer of the backcountry but is considered somewhat eccentric. He is also lucky, four times he has been the only survivor of a major expedition. This time he was sure he had found a way to save four days off the journey to Dar-Es-Sareem and many expeditions signed on to bring goods along.

'A bloody terrible idea'

Though Sir Henry refused to admit anything was wrong with his plans. Survivors beg to differ. 'I have never seen a worse route!' declared Captain Montaigne of the French Foreign Legion. 'I have been through hell.'

American Hunter Paul Phillips said Sir Henry should be flogged. 'A bloody terrible idea to go anywhere near the Minga. The native were absolutely hostile and the animals, though consistently trophy quality, were the most savage I have ever seen.'

Several parties didn't make it out at all. After the expedition fell apart it split up into numerous small groups which all headed out of the jungle for safety. One party fired upon a group of native women and children and were hunted down ruthlessly by enraged locals. Another party decided to stop and loot a temple ruin, there were hideous screams but no one returned.

Sir Henry has been locked up by Zakuna authorities investigating claims of criminal stupidity. Many in the marketplace are less certain he is guilty. 'They should lock up the idiots who followed him.' Said Belgian thug Renee Putain.

Weather across most of the continent will be incredibly humid today with flash floods along the rivers. Witch Doctors are predicting a usual Tanzanican death to unbelievers and cruel weather all summer.

Zebra Graveyard Found

German Scientist Karl Middlingheim today reported finding the rumored Graveyard. 'They laughed at me at the academy.' Said Middlingheim 'Yet I have done what no one else could an found this awesome place.' Other scientists were quick to laugh at the discovery. 'First the Dik-Dik now the Zebra. What is next? The Bongo Mouse' Asked British scientist Morton Throckfronginton IV. Idimi, witch doctor of the Bemgi Ya-Tongas said 'It is death to disturb the sacred place of the Zebra!' and has gathered the sacred warriors of his tribe to seek certain bloody revenge.

Masai defend cattle from angry Ya-Tonga villagers.

Zulus defend themselves from punitive raids.